I can’t recall a recent moment when I was gaslit or where it negatively impacted me, but I DO  remember when I was 8, I had a friend in elementary school, Jayden. She was one of my closest at the time and we often went on playdates together. We were both very imaginative and creative, so we often played pretend, However I didn’t understand how far she took it. It started with small things, telling me she has a big beautiful golden lab in her hometown, and how rich her family actually is. I believed this, I mean I was 8 years old why would she lie? I was huge on pinky promises and telling the truth, so I didn’t question anything she told me. One day she came to me and told me that she can speak to animals which I asked her to elaborate on, I believed her when she said she promised and wasn’t lying, then told me my cat was actually really mean and “talked back” to her. I was shocked, but also I still believed her since she was my best friend. We stopped being friends after we went cliff jumping and told my mom I pushed her and that she can’t swim. My mom ended up telling me years later that she never had a golden lab or rich grandparents. And yes, she can swim. 

Because we were young I consider this innocent rather than harmful. However, I would try and push her to speak freely without the need to sugarcoat her life. I find it funny now that I’m older and can’t believe how gullible I was, but at the time it really did put into perspective for me that there are people out there that can and will lie to me, and it made me feel vulnerable and deceived. I understand this is more lying than gaslighting, but this is when I first learned that people can be intentionally disingenuous, and from there learned to take what people say with a grain of salt. 

I think overall, she was insecure about her life and felt lying her way out of it would make her feel better about it and herself. I think she could have redirected these thoughts to affirmations. Rather than lying to others about herself, she should try positive affirmations in the mirror, or to even manifest her dream life. I just trust that lying doesn’t get you very far, and breaking those habits sooner will definitely bring yourself more confidence, as well as emotional stability.